Joan's Story

I grew up in Phoeinx, AZ., we laid out in the sun with baby oil on to get tan. That is where my journey begins.

The sore on my nose started out about as big as a pencil eraser. I thought it would go way, it didn’t. It was basal cell skin cancer. By the time I saw a Dr. it was too big to just cut out. So they did “the flap’ surgery. Skin from my forehead was brought sown, still connected, to cover the area they would need to cut out.

When I saw my face for the first time after the surgery I wondered how in the world I would be able to get through this. I knew it was not life threatening and I knew it was temporary but I still had to get through it. Here was my plan, I would hide in my bedroom with the door closed, eat chocolate and watch TV until my face was completely healed. I could hear a voice that kept telling me that I need help with this situation but I continued with MY plan.

Two days after surgery I ended up in the ER with what I thought was a heart attack and/or a blood clot or something equally dire. They decided to keep me overnight and were short of rooms so I was put in sort of a supply room.

I told my husband to go home so that he could get some sleep. I was hooked up to many machines, there was not a TV or a clock, I felt very small and scared. I had a lengthy conversation with God that night, it was one sided except for the voice telling me to get help that was getting louder and more often. I had the nurse call my husband back to the hospital and as soon as he got there I was finally able to get some sleep. Early the next morning a Dr. came in whose name was McGlory and I knew that I was going to be all right. He told me that physically I was fine and to go home. Joe also called that morning to see how I was and I heard Ted tell him that he was very worried about me emotionally and that is when I finally got it that I did need help.

I was given a phone number of a lady that would help me. In 15 minutes she adjusted my attitude and gave me a whole new outlook. She started off by saying that my scars and my bandages where sign of courage and honor for what I was going through. And her next statement made me think that she needed help. She said that I could give people a gift. The gift would be the gift of compassion for someone else, an opportunity for them to ask what had happened to me, and a chance to feel something for what someone else had gone through. The gift worked!! A great example was when Alan Newlove came to see me. I was brave and did not have a bandage on when he knocked on my door. He took one look at me and said “you poor thing” which was very comforting because I was feeling like a poor thing. Not everyone that saw me said something but I could see compassion in their eyes. At church one Sunday as I had half my face covered with gauze, a lady came up to me and put her arm around me and said “I am proud of you!” I never have seen her again and I will never forget that moment.

My granddaughter reminded me that it is what is on the inside that counts and for an 8 year old to know that is amazing and then she continued by saying “just don’t think about it!”

I have had 3 surgeries an as I look back I can see that I had to go through all of that to be OK with what my nose looks like now which I am not thrilled with but compared what it was after my first surgery it will be just fine.

My kids, husband, mom and sister have been wonderful as I knew they would be. They let me cry and whine and still took me places in spite of all the gauze on my face. Ted says I am still cute and even if he is lying I appreciate him saying that.

This journey has been an eye opening experience, I have had many God moments during all of this which I wouldn’t trade for anything. I would like to leave you with 3 things that I have learned.
If you have any sore on your body that does not heal up in 2 weeks, go get it checked.

Ask for help if you need it and keep asking until you feel helped.

Maybe instead of teaching our children not to stare at people we need to teach them how to respectfully ask what that person has gone through. I know that when people asked what had happened, it helped put me at ease and them. It allows for the gift to take place.